Mental blocks


I am now just about three weeks post-op, and this last week was surprisingly challenging. I finally was able to have food other than just liquids (puréed foods, but still), and for some reason, that brought my appetite back with a vengeance. I don't think it helped that my husband and son were celebrating Passover, which to them means lots of special holiday meals and especially desserts.

It doesn't take much to sit back and recognize hungers that are mental versus actual physical hunger. The appetite I have is mainly based on FOMO - the fear of missing out. Everyone else is, so why not me too? Real, stomach-needing-a-refill and body-needing-more-energy hunger? Almost none even still.

But old habits die hard, and I found myself giving in to the urge to nibble on this or that - each time, regretting it soon if not immediately.

I am still very much learning about myself and my new routines with this tool, and it's hard not to slip back into the painful cycle of negative self-talk. 

Three weeks. You couldn't even handle three weeks. You're going to fail at this like you've failed at everything else, always.

I'm learning. I need to give myself some grace. I am a month and a half into this, and down 40 pounds. This is not a small success - I am making tremendous progress, one step at a time. I need to focus on the bigger picture and think about all the positives, not just be brought down by the day-to-day challenges.


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