Showing posts from March, 2023

What scares me?

When I told my mom that I had committed to the surgery, she was supportive - she always is, even when she doesn't understand my choices or why something is important to me, like with most of my professional/career choices over the years. She has her concerns, of course - the standard ones, like what life will look like before and after, and making sure I have support not only at home but with my therapist, my dietician, etc. But overall, she's on board. She asked me a few weeks ago if I was scared - not about any one aspect of the surgery in particular, but just in general about the whole thing. I told her, in absolute complete honesty ... I'm not scared at all. I've been scared of a lot of things in the past - including this surgery, which is why I have gone through the application and pre-surgery process multiple times. But this time, I have absolutely no nerves, no anxiety, no worries. I think it's because now, there are so many other things I'm worried about

What we can do, together

The most supportive person in my life, always, is my son. He has a surprising amount of wisdom for a boy of almost ten - or maybe not surprising, if you know him. He's a wonderful combination of old soul and childish innocence, which makes for a very honest supporter.  When I told him I was considering the surgery, his initial reaction was one of concern - he's seen a few episodes of the weight loss television shows I've been watching for ages, and the thought of any possible complications or issues during or after the procedure is understandably terrifying for him. I reassured him as best as I could, and also reminded him that there are risks in everything - even walking down the street could be dangerous if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time.  As much as he could, he agreed, and he cuddled up saying he supported me going forward. There was a sweet reluctance in his voice as he said it - loving me and trusting me to do what is best, but lingering worry and con


Once, over ten years ago at this point, I was a blogger. I wrote daily, and I had an incredibly supportive group of folks who read along, who shared their own experiences with me, and who offered the advice and love that sustained me through some incredible challenges. One comment, over ten years later now, still pops in my head quite frequently. It was from a woman named Maude - she was in weight maintenance mode, and both her successes and her struggles inspired me tremendously, and gave me a glimpse of what I could look forward to as my weight loss journey transitioned into the rest of my life. She said she was proud of me, not just for working hard to lose the weight, but for doing it in my early 20s - she said her only regret about her own weight loss was waiting until she was older, because she felt like she lost so much of her younger years to sadness and frustration and endless body complaints.  But you , she said. You're accomplishing all this now. I'm so excited for y