Married to Amazement

I am a Resolutioner, through and through. I have always been seduced by the optimism of clean slates and fresh starts, by the potential of empty calendars and pages unwritten. With the exception of last year, I always spend much of the last week or so of each December thinking, reflecting, taking stock of my life and what the previous twelve months have brought. Last year I didn't set resolutions because much of the last month of 2021 was spent anticipating the end of my dad's life, and the beginning of 2022 was spent in the chaotic and overwhelming aftermath. Today is New Year's Day 2023, and tomorrow is a year since he died. We went back to Connecticut for Christmas this year, and it stunned me how neutral I felt about the day itself. It was a beautiful day with my family, for sure - but I thought it would be more emotional. I thought the weight of his absence would be absolutely crushing. And it just ... wasn't. Grieving has been a complicated experience, with no emo