Married to Amazement

I had a pretty decent week last week, even though I did not do any recipe tests ... but I have a good reason this time! I spent all of last week up to my elbows in prep for Passover. Deep cleaning every inch of the kitchen, getting our pots and pans and dishes out of storage - and mostly eating just leftovers and odd combinations of things to make sure our kitchen was ready for the holiday .   Our seders went as well as they could, and although those two special dinners are over, the rest of this week will be spent avoiding  chametz - bread/flour except in matzo, and also kitnyot -  things like legumes, corn, and grains. So no soy, no rice, no beans, no peanut butter - all on top of the usual kosher rules of specific meat and fish, plus no mixing meat and dairy. I met with my dietician before the holiday to talk through some of my food anxiety, and so far I think the advice and suggestions are working. I am doing my best with WW tracking, but also not driving myself crazy with numbers.

I took last week off ... from blogging, from recipe testing, and to be totally honest, from WW in general. I just hit a wall, and it happens sometimes. I usually give in and quit entirely, but I'm trying my hardest to not do that this time.  It just gets exhausting, you know? Tired of meal planning. Tired of prep cooking. Angry, even - why do I have to waste so much of my life thinking, planning, calculating? Jealous, too - no one else has to think this much about bites and tastes. There was also some anticipatory anxiety with Passover coming up at the end of this week - not only the usual stress of planning meals that can't have bread/flour but also soy, rice, beans, corn (so much of what I regularly eat), but this year there's the added nervousness about my ex-husband and his family coming to town to come to my family's seders. I am still very close with my ex-mother-in-law, and very lucky to have someone like her in my corner, especially when it comes to the absolute